How to be a Submissive wife

How to be a Submissive wife

Being from a culture  where people strive for independence, it has become difficult to understand the role as a wife in a marriage. As written on Proverbs 12:4,”A wife of a noble character is her husband’s crown, but a disgraceful wife is like decay in his bones.” In a Christian household love, honor and respect is a big part of a peaceful home. Being a submissive wife is another big part of a harmonious home.

Remember you are no longer under rule of mother and father. You have left there house. You are under the rule of your husband. you are responsible to him and your new family. He and he alone is the head.



follow the word of GOD:

Ephesians 5: {22} Wives, submit to your own husbands, as to the Lord, {23} For the husband is head of the wife, as also Christ is head of the Church; and He is the Savior of the body


Understand the submissive and controlled. Submit According to Webster’s Dictionary to submit means “to present or refer to others for decision, consideration, etc. To yield to the action, control power, etc. of another or others, give in; also, to subject or allow to be subjected to treatment, analysis, etc. of some sort: often used reflexively. To be submissive is having or showing a tendency to submit without resistance; docile; yielding.”  to be HUMBLY obedient.


Make sure to love your spouse overall his flaws.  Simply, do not criticize his ways, but offer helpful advice making sure not to offend him.


Be respectful. Respect comes easy when you truly love your spouse. You should respect his opinions, decisions, and ideas.


Be aware that the man is the head of the household. As written in Ephesians 5:23,”For the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church…”


Never make decisions that affect both of you without your spouse knowing. This will only bring conflict between you two.


Serve your husband in a cheerful manner throughout all his need. Serving someone you love and respect is not a difficult task. This should come naturally if the above is followed.


Remember, being a submissive wife does not mean you are a dumb wife. A submissive wife is strong and smart pleasing to the lord.  Allow yourself to learn, grow, goal-orientated and follow your dreams. A loving marriage requires work. If you both are at war for the same spot as head of a household, prepare to be part of a quarrelsome home.

Serve = to render assistance; be of use; help.


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Role of the Wife in Leadership

You have an extremely important role to play in your husband’s role as leader. As stated above, yours is a submissive or supportive role. Submission is not a passive activity, but an active one. It takes effort and concentration to be a good follower. Sometimes your role will be more vocal. As the closest person in his life, your insight may be invaluable. Your support, understanding, and willingness to follow will doubtless be important to him.

Do You Make These Mistakes?

Lead: Do you run the household your way and expect your husband to go along with your decisions? Do you make a show of consulting him, but do things as you please anyway? Do you feel it’s better to do things your way and have them turn out right, than to follow your husband? This shows a direct disregard for his position as leader.

Pressure: Do you try to pressure your husband to do things your way? Do you needle and nag? Do you argue and resist his leading because your way seems better? Does he go along with you just to keep peace? Expect your children to imitate this behavior.

Scrutinize: Do you pick apart and scrutinize his plans? Are you overly concerned and watchful? Are you quick to approve or disapprove? Do you ask probing questions in a fearful tone? This shows a lack of confidence and trust in him.

Advise: Do you offer too many suggestions? Do you tell him what to do and how to do it? Are you always giving him advice? Do you listen to his ideas before interrupting with your own? Do you outline courses of action for him? He may get the idea you don’t need him and can handle everything quite well on your own.

Disobey: Do you obey only when you agree with your husband? Do you do things your own way when you disagree? Do you go against his wishes when you feel strongly on a subject? This is the real test of a truly submissive wife.

How to Be the Perfect Follower

Honor his position: Have faith in the principle that God placed him in his role. Honor his place and teach your children to do the same.

Let go: Give him back the reins. Allow him to lead, and learn to follow. He will surprise you with his ability to get along fine without all your help.

Have a girlish trust in him: Don’t be worried about the way things will turn out. Let him do the worrying, while you trust him. This is not to say he will not make mistakes. Realize he is human and allow for mistakes.

Be adaptable: Don’t be set in your ways. Be adjustable and bendable. Learn to be happy and make the best of whatever circumstances your husband provides.

Be obedient: Obey your husband’s counsel and instructions in his presence and when he is gone. Perfect obedience is cheerful, to the letter, and immediate. Set your goal for quality obedience.

Stand together united: This is so important where children are concerned. Even when you disagree, present a united front to the children. Do not side with them against your husband, and do not express dissatisfaction to them.

Support his plans and decisions: Sometimes you have to go beyond submission and give active support to your husband. Some decisions are tough, and he may want you to stand with him. You don’t have to agree with the decision to be able to do this, but with his right to make the decision.

Assert yourself: The above qualities have all been submissive qualities, but there is another quality of a good follower – that of asserting yourself. There will be times when you will want, no, when you will need to speak out. Make sure when you do you have thought carefully about what you are going to say, pray about it; then go to your husband in confidence. Be sure of yourself.


How to Keep Your Husband’s Love

60 Ways to Keep Your Husband’s Love

  1. Behave like a female, i.e. all the tenderness of a female–a man doesn’t want a man for his wife!
  2. Dress pleasantly/attractively. If you are a home-maker, don’t stay in your sleeping suit all day.
  3. Smell good!
  4. Don’t lay out all your problems on your husband as soon as he walks in. Give him a little mental break.
  5. Don’t keep asking him, “what are you thinking?”
  6. Stop nagging non-stop before God  gives you something really to complain about.
  7. Absolutely no talking about your spousal problems to anyone you meet, not even under the pretense of seeking help!
  8. Be kind to your mother-in-law the same way you would like your husband to be kind to your own mother.
  9. Learn all the rights and obligations of each other in Christianity . Focus on fulfilling your obligations, not demanding your rights
  10. greet your husband when he comes home, as if you were waiting for him. Smile and hug him.
  11. Keep your house clean, at least to the level that he wants it.
  12. Compliment him on the things you know he’s not so confident about (looks, intelligence, etc.) This will build his self-esteem.
  13. Tell him he’s the best husband ever.
  14. Call his family often.
  15. Give him a simple task to do at home and then thank him when he does it. This will encourage him to do more.
  16. When he’s talking about something boring, listen and nod your head. Even ask questions to make it seem like you’re interested.
  17. Encourage him to do good deeds.
  18. If he’s in a bad mood, give him some space. He’ll get over it.
  19. Thank him sincerely for providing you with food and shelter. It’s a big deal.
  20. If he’s angry with you and starts yelling, let him yell it out while you’re quiet. You will see your fight will end a lot faster. Then when he’s calm, you can tell him your side of the story and how you want him to change something.
  21. When you’re mad at him, don’t say “YOU make me furious”, rather, “This action makes me upset”. Direct your anger to the action and circumstance rather than at him.
  22. Remember that your husband has feelings, so take them into consideration.
  23. Let him chill with his friends without guilt, especially if they’re good guys. Encourage him to go out, so he doesn’t feel “cooped up” at home.
  24. If your husband is annoyed over a little thing you do (and you can control it), then stop doing it. Really.
  25. Learn how to tell him what you expect without him having to guess all the time. Learn to communicate your feelings.
  26. Don’t get mad over small things. It’s not worth it.
  27. Make jokes. If you’re not naturally funny, go on the internet and read some jokes, and then tell them to him.
  28. Tell him you’re the best wife ever and compliment yourself on certain things you know you’re good at.
  29. Learn to make his favorite dish.
  30. Don’t ever, EVER talk bad about him with friends or family unnecessarily. If they end up agreeing with you, you will see that it hits you back in the face because you get more depressed that you have a bad husband–and other people also think you have a bad husband.
  31. Use your time wisely and get things accomplished. If you’re a home-maker, take online classes and get active in your community. This will make you happy and a secondary bonus is that it impresses your husband.
  32. Do all of the above and you will see God put love in everything you do.
  33. Husband and wife should discuss and communicate with wisdom with each other to convey what they like and dislike of each other to do or not to do. Do NOT give commands or instructions like he’s your servant.
  34. Tell your husband you love him, many, many times.
  35. Have a race with your husband and let him win, even if you are much fitter and stronger than him.
  36. Keep fit and take care of your health so you will remain a strong mother, wife, cook and housekeeper.
  37. Refine and cultivate good mannerisms i.e do not whine, don’t laugh or talk too loud or walk like an elephant.
  38. Do not leave the house without letting him so he will no worry.
  39. Make sure all his clothes are clean and pressed so he is always looking fresh and crisp.
  40. Don’t discuss important/controversial matters with him when he is tired or sleepy. Find right time for right discussion.
  41. Always let him know that you appreciate him working and bringing home the “dough”. It makes it easier for him to go to work.
  42. ALWAYS be there for him intimately, remember your body is now his.
  43. Brush your hair, everyday.
  44. Don’t forget to do laundry.
  45. Surprise him with gifts. Even necessities, such as new shoes, can be gifts.
  46. Listen to him. (Even when he talks about extremely boring things like basketball or computers.)
  47. Try (hard as it might be) to take interest in his hobbies.
  48. Try not to go shopping too much … and spend all his money.
  49. Look attractive and be seductive towards him. Flirt with him.
  50. Learn tricks and “techniques” to please your husband in intimacy. (Of course goes both ways.)
  51. Prepare for special evenings with him with special dinner and exclusive time (no children permitted).
  52. Take care of your skin, especially your face. The face is center of attraction.
  53. If you not satisfied intimately, talk to him and tell him. Help him or provide resources, don’t wait until matters become worse.
  54. Ask GOD to strengthen and preserve the bonds of compassion and love between the two of you, every day, every prayer. Ask him to protect that bond from
  55. Don’t EVER compare your husbands to other husbands! For example don’t say, “well her husband doesn’t do that, why do you …” (thats a killer!)
  56. Be happy with what you have because no one is perfect.
  57. Strive for GOD’s love first and foremost! if all wives try to seek Gods love and pleasure, surely, they can keep their husbands love too. And remember–if Allah loves you, the angles will love you, and the entire creation will love you.
  58. If you pack a lunch for your husband to take to work, from time to time sneak in a little love note or sweet poem. If he doesn’t take a lunch, leave the note somewhere else for him to find, like in his briefcase, or wallet or on the car steering-wheel
  59. always tell him the truth… never lie to your husband(this will cause big problems)
  60. Open yourself to him in always… give him all he ask and you will be rewarded.

2 Responses

  1. Jennifer Kiberly 07. Nov, 2010 #

    This is GREAT information. I am not a Eastern Star but I am a christian wife. I have taken your advice and … it is remarable the change I now see in my marriage beacuse of it.

    Thanks You!!

  2. Abby L. 07. Nov, 2010 #

    Greetings my sister of Light. what a wonderful thing you have done here on this sight. We as women will hopfully find our way back to the truth and live life as it was meant to be. Please keep it up sister Lisa.
    We love you.

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